Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Two more

Side of the house/driveway.

Suburban multiplex.

It's just like the snow we have in L.A., except it's not as fun when it goes up your nose

And here's my dad using his superpowered snowblower to clear away the snow while I sit inside like a wussy little bitch and take pictures.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Bored is the king of Israel

I'm not all that bored; I just thought that would be a good title. It's post-Christmas in Boston and I have received, among other things, a new digital camera that's so small I worry about swallowing it. This means that I will now be able to make good on my months-ago plan to post occasional photos on the blog. They won't be good photos, but they will make the page take a few seconds longer to load.

So, stay tuned.

No, I'm serious. You stay right there hitting the "refresh" button every ten seconds until you see some pictures here. Do not move. Remember the last ten minutes of Secretary? Like that.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Actual money for virtual stuff

All I can say about this is that by comparison, I have never done anything remotely geeky in my life.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


I have multiple friends who refer to boba (not the tea, but the actual tapioca balls) as snotballs. Terminology-wise, it's harsh but fair. On the other hand, have you ever gotten a shot of "pudding" in boba? That really is snot. And not even compressed into a more palatable ball form. It's just this amorphous mass of snotness suspended in the middle of your drink. And I guess it kind of tasted like chocolate, but when you come down to it, snot's snot. Long story short, I don't recommend taking the "pudding" option when getting boba.

Time to cancel Showtime

Because they've canceled Dead Like Me, which is easily one of the best shows on TV right now and definitely in the upper echelon of all-time shows. Why? I thought the whole point of cable networks -- and especially pay cable networks -- was that they didn't do stupid shit like yank great shows off the air in their prime. Sure, Fox can do that, and so can NBC, and, well, just about everyone else, but the cablers (to use some lame-ass Variety terminology) are supposed to have slightly better sense.

Anyway, apparently MGM (who produces Dead Like Me) is now looking for another network to air it. Probably just so they can sell more DVDs, but you don't always need a good reason.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

I think, if there is a God, his sense of humor is disturbingly similar to mine.

Yep, I know, that's pretty cryptic. But if you're reading this, you probably know what I'm referring to.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Today's random thought brought to you by Benjamin Moore

Why do painters wear white shirts and pants? Do they need to keep a careful log of all the paint they spill on themselves? Or are they hoping to develop some kind of Pollack-esque clothing line that they can sell to some company in Paris and retire?

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Jewish vs. Goyish

The following list is the result of several emails exchanged between Eti and I, inspired by this website which is in itself a hilarious read, as we attempted to compile a definitive account of what is Jewish and what is Goyish. (If you're so goyish as to not know what a goy is, it's a Yiddish word to describe a non-Jew. Me, for example.)

The stuff in regular text is mine; the bold stuff is Eti's. You will likely see some disagreement and/or political editorializing on both our parts.

Linux is Jewish; Windows is goyish.
Netflix is Jewish; Blockbuster is goyish.
Amoeba is Jewish; Tower is goyish.
Trader Joe's: Jewish; Whole Foods: goyish
Hitchcock was a Jew in goy clothing; Spielberg is a goy in Jew clothing.
Variety is Jewish; EW is goyish. UPN is Jewish; the WB is goyish (except for Gilmore Girls which is a totally Jewish show)

The Valley is Jewish; Palms is Goyish.
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is Jewish; Starbucks is Goyish.
Vanilla Ice Blendeds are Jewish; Boba is Goyish.
Daily News is Jewish; LA Times is Goyish.
CPK is Jewish; Chili's is Goyish.
Ventura Boulevard is Jewish; 3rd Street Promenade is Goyish.
Vegas is Jewish; Reno is Goyish.
Mercedes are Jewish (even though they shouldn't be); BMWs are Goyish.
Surgeons are Jewish; Pathologists are Goyish.

Desktops are Jewish; Laptops are Goyish.
Conference calls are Jewish; Video conferencing is Goyish.
Ham and cheese sandwiches are Jewish; Seafood is Goyish.
Post Its are Jewish; Memos are Goyish.
Stamps are Jewish; Pitney Bowes is Goyish.
Carnations are Jewish; Roses are Goyish.
Car alarms and detailing are Jewish; Pimping your ride is Goyish.
Bottled water is Jewish; Vitamin water is Goyish.

Beer is Jewish; wine is Goyish.
Vin Diesel is Jewish; Paul Walker is Goyish.
Gaugin is Jewish; Monet is Goyish.
Surround sound is Jewish; 3-D is Goyish.
Normal cell phones are Jewish; Nextel walkie-talkies are Goyish.
England is Jewish; America is Goyish.
Dial-up is Jewish; broadband is Goyish.
Pencils are Jewish; pens are Goyish.
Crossword puzzles are Jewish; word searches are Goyish.
Nicotine gum is Jewish; the patch is Goyish.

Day Runners are Jewish; Palm Pilots are Goyish.
Pop Ups are Jewish; Spam is Goyish.
Zippers are Jewish; Velcro is Goyish.
Cocaine is Jewish; Heroin is Goyish.
Bumper Stickers are Jewish; Laker Flags are Goyish.
Christopher Walken is Jewish; Jack Nicholson is Goyish.
Wall paint is Jewish; Wallpaper is Goyish.
Garbage is Jewish; Recycling is Goyish.
Madonna was Jewish until she changed her name to Esther and became Goyish.

The Pill is Jewish; condoms are Goyish.
Golf is Jewish; tennis is Goyish.
Priority Mail is Jewish; FedEx is Goyish.
The Club is Jewish; LoJack is Goyish.
Sedans are Jewish; SUVs are Goyish. (sorry but it's true)
Stapling is Jewish; binding is Goyish.
The Red Sox are Jewish; the Yankees are Goyish. (but the Mets and the Cubs are even more Jewish than the Red Sox)
Hardwood floors are Jewish; wall-to-wall carpeting is Goyish.
eBay is Jewish; is Goyish.
Mexico is Jewish; Spain is Goyish.
Cereal is Jewish; eggs and toast are Goyish.
Blistex is Jewish; Chap Stick is Goyish.
Ice skating is Jewish; skiing is Goyish.
Soccer is Jewish; football is Goyish.
Skee-ball is Jewish; Whack-a-Mole is Goyish.
Judges are Jewish; juries are Goyish.
The White Stripes are Jewish; The Strokes are Goyish.
Debit cards are Jewish; credit cards are Goyish.
Anorexia is Jewish; bulemia is Goyish.
The Declaration of Independence is Jewish; the Constitution is Goyish.

Lawn with sparse grass is Jewish; Astroturf is Goyish.
Track suits are Jewish; Performance fleece is Goyish.
The ACLU is Jewish (unfortunately); PETA is Goyish.
Live with Regis is Jewish; The Today Show with Katie Couric is Goyish (Extra goyish points for Couric's face lift)
"High Fidelity" is Jewish; "About a Boy" is Goyish.
Vandalism is Jewish; Arson is Goyish.
Trailers are Jewish; Trailer Parks are Goyish.
Files are Jewish; Dossiers are Goyish.
Slideshows are Jewish; PowerPoint presentations are Goyish.
After Christmas Day Sales are Jewish; After Thanksgiving Day Sales are Goyish.

Jose Bernstein's is Jewish; Baja Fresh is Goyish.
Blogging is Jewish; keeping a diary is Goyish.
Sick days are Jewish; lunchtime doctor appointments are Goyish.
Duffel bags are Jewish; suitcases are Goyish.
Kleenex is Jewish; Puffs Plus are Goyish.
Baking a cake is Jewish; baking cookies is Goyish.
Jello is Jewish; pudding is Goyish.
Air travel is Jewish; space travel is Goyish.
Walking is Jewish; bike riding is Goyish.
The CIA is Jewish (or at least it was); the Department of Homeland Security is Goyish.
Sneakers are Jewish; sandals are Goyish.
Pixar movies are Jewish (except for A Bug's Life which was fairly Goyish); regular Disney movies are Goyish.
Hearsay is Jewish; eavesdropping is Goyish.
Cubicles are Jewish; offices are Goyish.
Money is Jewish; bling is Goyish.
Exercise is Jewish; Atkins is Goyish.
Wes Anderson is Jewish; Tarantino is Goyish.
Plastic is Jewish; paper is Goyish (although the whole paper-or-plastic thing is severely Goyish in itself)
Cruises are Jewish; road trips are Goyish.
Getting take-out is Jewish; waiting an hour for a table is Goyish.
Pre-meditated murder is Jewish; "crimes of passion" are Goyish.
Art museums are Jewish; car museums are Goyish.
Manicures are Jewish; waxing is Goyish.
Jeopardy is Jewish; Wheel of Fortune is VERY Goyish (but The Price is Right is fairly Jewish) Salsa is Jewish; Tabasco is Goyish.
Musicals are Jewish; rock operas are Goyish.

Having a Goyish boyfriend is Jewish; Having a Jewish girlfriend is Goyish. (credit goes to Meital for this one)

Special OC section:
"The OC" is Jewish; the OC is Goyish.
Summer is the hot Jap; Marissa is the unloved shiksa.
Seth Cohen is Jewish; the majority of teeny boppers who love him are Goyish.
Sandy Cohen is surprisingly Jewish; Peter Gallagher is Goyish, but his eyebrows are Jewish.
Anna was Jewish; Summer is Goyish, but is Jewish by proxy.

Kaitlin Cooper's horse with a skin disease is Jewish; Kaitlin Cooper being sent off to boarding school is Goyish.
Luke's gay father was Jewish; Abercrombie and Fitch Poster Boy Luke is Goyish.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


It's old news by new that Merriam-Webster's most-searched word of the year was "blog." It's really not that surprising, although I wonder why anybody thought that word would be in an actual dictionary. Did they also look up the colon-parenthesis smiley face?

Anyway, what is surprising is that the seventh-most searched word was "peloton." No, I don't know what the hell a peloton is and no, I'm not going to look it up right now and find out and then pretend I knew what it was all along. But still, aren't you curious? I am. Let's take a look.

Main Entry: peloton
Definition: a small group of soldiers; platoon
Etymology: French `platoon'

Oh. More war terminology. Yawn. I was hoping it was something sexual.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Expensive booze


I guess you drink this along with those truffle mushrooms that only grow in one part of the world for one day every ten years or whatever.