Friday, October 07, 2005

Fresh coffee, multiple wives

On the fair morn of the day after yesterday but just before tomorrow, somewhere between the French Revolution and the colonization of Mars, after Jaws but before the release of the 27th installment in the "I Know What You Did Last Summer" series ("I Think I Remember What You Did... Um... Fuck, It's Been A Long Time Now... Well, I'm Still Going To Try To Kill You At Any Rate"), I headed off for Starbucks for what I can now call "the usual."

Or did I? No, as a matter of fact, I didn't. A co-worker directed me to Peet's Coffee, where apparently they were giving away free quarter-pounds of beans. And even though my plan to start exclusively home-brewing coffee never quite took off, it's still nice to give the Mr. Coffee a workout every now and then so he stays in shape. So I moseyed (mosied? is there an actual past tense of mosey?) on over to Peet's, located conveniently right across the street from Starbucks, and took in the surroundings. I don't go there often, so I'm always kind of taken aback at how nice it is. Starbucks may have set the standard for the non-dirty coffee shop, but Peet's definitely takes it to the next level. You kind of want to take off your shoes when you step inside there, and if your phone rang you'd be sort of embarrassed.

Then there's the service. Dear god, these people are too friendly. Honestly, I think they wake up every morning just about ready to burst into song over how excited they are to work at Peet's. They probably have choreography and everything. ("Now I'm grinding the beans / Oh you don't know what it means / To have such a career / Well you might think it's queer / But I'm in love with my Peet's / From my heads to my feets") I don't think it's possible to get them mad. They're like Mormons that way. Do you know any Mormons? I've known some. You can't get them mad. I think once you join the religion you get your own dedicated ray of sunshine beaming down on you at all times. Plus, you get extra wives, which in the real world would more likely lead to multiple child support/alimony payments but in the sunshiney Mormon world just means even more happiness. Yeah, I know that officially they say the polygamy is a thing of the past, but I'm sure that once you really get your foot in the door -- say, to the Mormon equivalent of one of the higher Operating Thetan levels -- they tell you to go ahead and start picking out 3 or 4 extra wedding rings from Zale's and trade in your queen bed for a California king.

Anyway, I had my Peet's version of an iced latte and it was pretty darn good. I think the secret ingredient is love [of extra wives]. And I have my complimentary bag of Tanzanian Kilimanjaro ground beans! I heard they lost 3 people on the expedition to collect it, but the dark roasted, slightly acidic taste will more than make up for that.

5 comments:

Eti said...

They may have lost 3 people, but at least they'll get to sing and be happy about it!

Myasorubka said...

Ok one thing I have to say in Starbuck's defense is that they have excellent customer service. Always have. If you get a drink and you simply don't like it, they will always make you something else and probably won't charge you for it. One time I got a cookie, didn't like it, came back like 3 days later, casually mentioned to one of the employees that I thought the cookie sucked, and she gave me an espresso brownie for free. They will not let you leave the store unhappy. And I think that rocks.

PS - I don't like Peet's coffee at all. And how can you like it after being spoiled by Urth, anyway??

the sparkler said...

Somehow you were so enamored by the thought of the multiples wives you be became unable to taste the actual coffee. Straighten up!! You have a ninja knife now, you represent a broad foodie-dom cult-ure and we DON’T like Peets.

Skerlie Bee said...

So what, is this a foodie united thing? One hates it, we all hate it? Do I hate Peets, too? Somebody fill me in.
Unfortunately I have no Peets
Wait,let me check on 2nd street
To see what the fuss is all about
And know whether I shall spit in disgust, or sadly do without
*visualize interprative dance*

Eti said...

Pssst. I heard Peets has bad hygiene a la Alex M. Pass it on!