I wasn't just whistling dixie last week; I actually brought home a coffeemaker last night. It's a Mr. Coffee model, which I'm still not sure how they ever got away with such a generic name for a product (Mr. Car? Mr. Stapler? Mr. Supercolliding Semiconductor? I don't think any of those would fly) but I don't really care because it seems to at least partially work. I mean "partially" quite literally there. I set it up overnight to brew me 2 cups in the morning (yeah, it's got the fancy programmed-delay thingy) and when I woke up, it had brewed (or is that brewn?) a grand total of half a cup. Maybe that was my fault for actually going by the printed numbers on the side of the coffeemaker that show you how much water to put in. After that, I put in enough for about 3-4 cups and it brewed me about a cup. So I did at least get a cup and a half in all. That whole situation does call into question the validity of referring to it as a 12-cup coffeemaker, since if you extrapolate the above quantities, you'd have to put in the full 12 cups worth of water to make about 3 actual cups. Or maybe in the coffeemaker world, just putting the number "12" on the water level meter gives you sufficient license to market the product as such. I'm not too familiar with the ethical standards of the hot beverage industry.
Anyway, the coffee I chose for my first brewing was Sumatra Dark from Coffee Bean. I don't have a grinder yet, because coffeegeek.com has mindfucked me into a formless oblivion about all the different types of grinders and their various pros and cons, so I had the Coffee Bean guy grind the beans on the (presumably) fancy Coffee Bean machine. I realize this means they won't last very long, but so be it. The coffee tasted pretty good and I'm sure will get better once I really turn the coffeemaker into my bitch, rather than standing by timidly as it does whatever the fuck it feels like.